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Dear Nobody (Nobody deserves this letter XD),
I don't really know how to tell you this, the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your toe ring but keeping your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and I love Oprah.
I love Oprah,
~Jared
------------------------------------------------
Because I can.
How to do this meme:
***Dear (person of your choice),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when you (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) but keeping (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
~(your name)
************************************************
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - our affair is over
White - the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black - our romance is over
Green - our socks don't match
Grey - you're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other - I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - that night you picked your nose
February - when I quoted Forrest Gump
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on peanut butter
May - when I threw up in your sock drawer
June - when you put cuffs on me
July – when I saw the purple monkey
August - when you smacked my ass
September - when we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - last year when you peed your pants
November - when your dog humped my leg
December - when I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Chicken - in your car
Pasta - outside of your office
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad – as you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - in your closet
Kebab - with Jean Chrétien
Seafood - in a clown suit
Sandwiches - at the Elton John concert
Pizza - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a street light
Annat - with George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Black - hit on
White - carve your initials into
Yellow - ignore
Red - put whipped cream on
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the pants off of
Barefoot - sit on
Other - drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - the Catholic Priest
Brown - the Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - my corned beef hash
Red - my knee caps
Blue - my salt-beef bucket
Yellow - my illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - my Blink 182 cd
Pink - you are "My Little Pony" collection
Other - the elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - senile
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - scarred
American Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - open
Top Model - middle-class
Annat - shamed
House - sterile
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful you are
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - that your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – that we're related
Excited - that I may pee my pants
Nervous - the middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - that your Ford sucks
Apathetic - that you need a sex-change
Silly - that I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - that Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - that your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your toe ring
Yellow - your love letters to me
Red - the pictures from Vegas
Black - your pet rock
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your nose hair clippers
Grey - our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your balls
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your virginity
C/D - your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - your neighbors dog
G/H - the oil tank from your car
I/J - your left ear
K/L - the results of that blood-sample
M/N - your glass eye
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X – your suicide note
Y/Z - your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - always will remember the pep talks
E/F - never will forget that night
G/H – will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - hate your cooking
M/N - told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - always wanted to break your legs
S/T - love your sweet, sweet ass
U/V - will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - haven't showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I love Oprah
Milk - the apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – you should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer – thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations,
France - Love always,
Spain - With tears of sadness,
China – You make me sick,
Germany – Please don't hurt me,
Japan - Go milk a cow,
Greece - Your everlasting enemy,
USA - Best of luck on the sex change,
Egypt – Kiss my butt,
England - I love Oprah,
Italy - Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore
Russia - Your new world emperor,
I don't really know how to tell you this, the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your toe ring but keeping your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and I love Oprah.
I love Oprah,
~Jared
------------------------------------------------
Because I can.
How to do this meme:
***Dear (person of your choice),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when you (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) but keeping (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
~(your name)
************************************************
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - our affair is over
White - the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black - our romance is over
Green - our socks don't match
Grey - you're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other - I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - that night you picked your nose
February - when I quoted Forrest Gump
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on peanut butter
May - when I threw up in your sock drawer
June - when you put cuffs on me
July – when I saw the purple monkey
August - when you smacked my ass
September - when we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - last year when you peed your pants
November - when your dog humped my leg
December - when I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Chicken - in your car
Pasta - outside of your office
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad – as you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - in your closet
Kebab - with Jean Chrétien
Seafood - in a clown suit
Sandwiches - at the Elton John concert
Pizza - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a street light
Annat - with George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Black - hit on
White - carve your initials into
Yellow - ignore
Red - put whipped cream on
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the pants off of
Barefoot - sit on
Other - drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - the Catholic Priest
Brown - the Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - my corned beef hash
Red - my knee caps
Blue - my salt-beef bucket
Yellow - my illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - my Blink 182 cd
Pink - you are "My Little Pony" collection
Other - the elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - senile
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - scarred
American Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - open
Top Model - middle-class
Annat - shamed
House - sterile
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful you are
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - that your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – that we're related
Excited - that I may pee my pants
Nervous - the middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - that your Ford sucks
Apathetic - that you need a sex-change
Silly - that I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - that Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - that your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your toe ring
Yellow - your love letters to me
Red - the pictures from Vegas
Black - your pet rock
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your nose hair clippers
Grey - our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your balls
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your virginity
C/D - your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - your neighbors dog
G/H - the oil tank from your car
I/J - your left ear
K/L - the results of that blood-sample
M/N - your glass eye
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X – your suicide note
Y/Z - your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - always will remember the pep talks
E/F - never will forget that night
G/H – will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - hate your cooking
M/N - told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - always wanted to break your legs
S/T - love your sweet, sweet ass
U/V - will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - haven't showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I love Oprah
Milk - the apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – you should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer – thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations,
France - Love always,
Spain - With tears of sadness,
China – You make me sick,
Germany – Please don't hurt me,
Japan - Go milk a cow,
Greece - Your everlasting enemy,
USA - Best of luck on the sex change,
Egypt – Kiss my butt,
England - I love Oprah,
Italy - Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore
Russia - Your new world emperor,
July 4th Weekend.
I'll be leaving for California tomorrow, and be gone until late Sunday. So if I don't respond to anything you send, that's why.
Sonic Music
I bugged ~danadreamland (https://www.deviantart.com/danadreamland)
Now I bug you. :iconawesomefaceplz:
...
1. Sonic Boom or You Can Do Anything (Toot Toot Sonic Warrior)?
2. Open Your Heart or Live and Learn?
3. Sonic Heroes or What I'm Made Of?
4. All Hail Shadow or Never Turn Back?
5. His World or All Hail Shadow (Crush 40)?
6. Seven Rings in Hand or Knight of the Wind?
7. Endless Possibilities or Reach For the Stars?
8. The World Adventure or Wonder World?
9. Green Hill Zone or Emerald Hill Zone?
10. It Doesn't Matter or Throw It All Away?
XD
This is surprisingly educational:
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6650094/facebook-news-feed-history-of-the-world-world-war-i-to-world-war-ii?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=june
Outsmarted Cleverbot!
User: Uanoywq ynp wqyun twy twy tqy tyt4 t t3.
Cleverbot: I know your name.
User: Fnfnrq irqonrqyu.
Cleverbot: What is your boyfriends name?
User: Tcniqtvntityu4tvi4viou.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: Ynrqutq itq iutq iub.
Cleverbot: Do you want to be my roommate?
User: Hjkg hr ire hnre hne r.
Cleverbot: I am a robot. You are human.
© 2013 - 2024 Jarman98
Comments18
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this is funny now I want to do this now 